Are You Offended Or Just Hurt?

“Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.”
– Psalm 119:165

From time to time I make reference from the pulpit that 30 years ago I gave up my right to being offended. People often give me one of those quizzical looks as if to say, “You mean that you have such a strong spiritual constitution that you can’t be hurt by people?” No, that’s not what I mean. An example may serve me well at this point. You’re driving down the road minding your own business when an errant golf ball goes through your windshield sending glass everywhere including a heavy piece that lacerates your arm. Question: Are you hurt? Yes. You feel the physical pain of the imbedded glass. Are you offended? Well, that’s a very different question. You could analyze the situation and say the guy who hit the ball needs to go get some lessons, or you could say I’m suing the management for putting the course so close to the road. I’m also going after the golfer for all he’s worth. You are now suffering from two problems. You are hurt and offended, which leads to bitterness and anger, which leads to more problems. You can’t do anything about the hurt, but you can do something about being offended.

This certainly carries over into the emotional realm. People hurt me as I go through life. I can’t help that. The hurt may be so great that I cry or become sad. I now have a choice regarding the offense. I can become bitter and take up an offense against the one who wounded me, or I can attribute it to flawed character knowing full well I do the same to others. I always ask myself if I believe the wounding party tried to hurt me. Ninety-nine percent of the time people don’t go out of their way to offend. But suppose they did try to hurt me? Then I see them clothed in the same humanity I’m clothed in. I may also ask myself if I’m overly sensitive? No matter what the answer I am left with no choice but to forgive and release this to the Lord. It’s much easier to forgive and leave behind the offense when we see ourselves as offensive. And let’s face it, all of us are offensive to some degree.

I hope this is clear, and I hope you can apply this to your life. You will get hurt, and there is no escape, but being offended is your choice. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psalm 119:165). That’s the way I see things.